I don't have any life-threatening health issues, but I have had some problems in the past few years including an auto-immune disorder and some lung restrictions. It isn't fun, and it isn't very effective to be seeing different clinic doctors every few months who have no idea who you are. I am excited to be going in for some testing and hoping to get to the bottom of some questions I have been having.
Here's the thing, though. My mom and I were chatting on Sunday night, and she really thinks I need to tell the new doctor about my past struggle with bulimia. For me, that is really scary. I can tell you guys, sure, but to tell a professional is a different story. I am so worried that she is going to look at me like I belong in the looney bin, or like I am not strong. And one day if I need a doctors note to travel or be part of some organization, I don't want her to say that I have psychological issues and need to be monitored or something. I know it's a long shot since I have been in the healing process for some time now, but it is still a scary thought.
On the other hand, bulimia isn't funny and it isn't healthy and who knows what kind of unseen damages I have caused my body. It makes me sad, really. Sometimes I look in the mirror and have to apologize for the ways I have hurt myself.
In the end, I will probably mention it to her. She has hopefully been trained to be somewhat sympathetic and won't judge me, but it is still pretty hard. So stay tuned; I will let you know what my decision was and how the kind doctor handled it!
~C~
