I'm not sure how.
But...
I think I have become a grown up.
The thought came to me on Sunday night as I attended a Christmas party with some dear friends. There was laughter. There was a good ol' bottle of Baileys. There was music playing in the background. And there were children running around. Children that belonged to people the same age as me. And it was then that I realized I no longer belong at the Kids Table. I belong at the Boring Grown-Up Table. Only I am delighted to discover that it isn't at all boring!
I remember being 3 or 4 and looking at people taller and waaaay older then me and feeling like they didn't know how to have fun at all. I felt lucky to be the one to get away with sitting on people's laps and getting spoiled and breaking ornaments and spilling eggnog and running wild on a sugar high. Now I feel lucky to be the one sitting beside someone so very amazing, sipping my eggnog (and never spilling it...haha). I feel lucky to have friends who are intelligent and fun and funny and caring. I feel fortunate to have little ones around to call me Auntie and sit on my lap as I quietly sneak them bits of cookie when their parents aren't looking.
I. LOVE. The. Grown-up. Table.
I am seeing this revelation in my relationship, too. How easy it is to be childish and foolish when someone upsets you, yes? But the boy and I have learned to have grown-up conversations without being childish. And it's so, so lovely.
Christmas isn't the same as it used to be, that's for sure. But I have learned this season that it is so much more. I see it through the eyes of my young, impressionable students and Brian's amazing nieces and nephew, and it's so magical. I have also seen it through the eyes of a grown-up, now, too. And it's a different kind of magic, but so very enjoyable nevertheless.
How are you enjoying your last few days until Christmas 2010?
~C~
