Oh where oh where to even begin?? I am surprised I even remembered my user name and password to sign in here. It's been awhile, and I am feeling it. My thoughts are swirling, my head is spinning, my fingers are hitting the backspace key more than usual.
Life needs to slow down...
Does it ever, though? Those of you who have been around a few more years than me, can you honestly tell me that life does, indeed, slow down? Somehow I doubt it. I am desperate for a second to breathe, a second to laugh, a second to stop.
I left you readers on a cliff-hanger last week, right in the middle of the Big Move. The good news is that I have successfully moved on from Have-To to Want-To. The painting, cleaning, and packing (and even unpacking) is behind me, and now comes the task of putting the final lovely touches on my new home. It's coming together, and minus a few things, I am good to go. At the end of the day, I want to go home, which is really nice. I am loving the solitude, the quiet, the lack of expectations. Even though my former roomie was pretty chill, there was still the pressure of doing the dishes every second night and making sure the communal living space was top-notch. And not that I didn't enjoy that clean lifestyle, because I did and do, but now I can just kind of relax about it.
A very dear friend of mine from work and I have this thing going where we strive to avoid the word 'perfect'. Just yesterday we came up with an imaginary jar, and each time the word 'perfect' is uttered, we have to put in an imaginary 5cents. It's helping. Such a simple thing as that imaginary jar is having more influence in my life than any self-help book or counseling appointment has so far. I am tired of perfect, whatever that might be, and it is no longer a part of my life. My new house isn't and never will be perfect, much like my holistic self, and I am okay with that.
I promised you guys before, during, and after pictures of the past 2 weeks, which will come into fruition soon, hopefully. My beloved Mac was left accidentally in my Gramma's car last week. When I first discovered it was missing, I totally thought I would die without it and seriously considered driving all the way to White Rock to get it. But then I realized I hardly ever make the time to travel there to visit my own family, and it would be dumb to do that for a piece of machinery, so I left well enough alone. Much to my amazement, I have not yet died from lack of Internet (or cable for that matter), nor do I feel I am about to. Imagine, that, hey? The break has been nice.
On another note, I now have my bunny! Her name is Eden, and as we get to know each other I am realizing more and more how my aversion to animals was, in fact, just a bad attitude problem. She is a pet, yes, but she is like a little person too, with a personality and the ability to make me want to come home at the end of the day. I think having her is going to be really, really good for me. Pictures of her to come! Two other friends have gotten bunnies this week, too, so we will have like a sad little playgroup or something. : )
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And that Rut I was talking about? Well, I know for a fact that I am not the only one feeling that way. It's like I have forgotten how to take care of myself. I am down, I am not feeling the greatest, I am waiting for each day to end. And that is not how life should look.
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So...let's take our vitamins (Flintstones chewables rock!). Let's go for a walk, even if it is raining. Let's go to bed on time. Let's think of 3 good reasons to get out of bed in the morning. Let's be real with each other. Let's tell Perfect to go to hell. Let's breathe deeper.
Ahh....I am feeling better already. Time to start the uphill trek once again, my friends. I have had enough with the downhill. Have you?
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~C~
