Today’s post is special. It’s the 50th. That’s a lot.
To celebrate, I changed up the template a bit, which is clear as day. I just felt like I needed a change. I thought maybe you did, too. I was going for something bright and summer-y, but when I saw this delightfully pink one, I just saw myself in it. We can always use more pink. That’s my opinion at least. : )
I thought maybe I would use this post to give you a bit of an update on things in my life. Things I might not have mentioned or things that those of you who don’t see me regularly might be curious about. Sorry if that sounds narcissistic.
First and foremost, it has been 299 days since the last time I forced myself to throw up. Two hundred and ninety nine. That is something to celebrate. This year has been so, so, so hard. Probably gonna be a record, actually. But, my friends, it has been so worth it. All those emotions that were buried and masked and convoluted and ignored and twisted have been totally and utterly exposed. How unbelievably painful this journey has been. But at the same time, how incredible to embrace my freedom from bulimia. Only 66 days left until my one year anniversary! Yahoo!
Things with my family have been interesting these past weeks and months. My relationship with my brother continues to grow stronger for sure, which is really nice. My older sister and I are working through some stuff right now which hasn’t been easy. I am hoping we’ll come out closer in the end. My mom, step-dad, grandma, and honorary grandpa are all in Germany this month, so I feel slightly orphaned. It’s so weird how we take our families for granted. So many times these past few weeks I have picked up my phone to call home only to realize no one is there. I am happy for them all, though, because Germany is home to my family and as we all know, there’s no place like home.
The new house is coming along. Sometimes I still look around and wonder if it’s really mine. It’s all my stuff; it’s my furniture and clothes and lotions and shoes and paint and pictures and life...but at the same time, that ‘new house smell’ still lingers. I still walk through the door and wonder for a second where to put my purse. I still look for things that I can’t even remember unpacking. On another note, the nights have been pretty calm. Thankfully I can bolt my front door shut and need a key to open it, so that’s a lot to go through should I decide in the middle of the night to leave the house. I can remember a few sleepwalking incidents since I moved in, but lots of night lights are helping. I am excited for summer in Sidoni Place. I plan to enjoy it. Thoroughly.
Work has been good these days. I have 10 teaching days left. Holy cow. It’s been a long year, but I will genuinely be sad to say goodbye to some of these kids. My “work friends” have been a wonderful support system for me lately. I have been struggling a lot as you know, but these girls who see me every single day give me a reason to smile and keep my chin up. (Thanks for the inside jokes, dance parties, and storage room heart-to-hearts. You know who you are.)
Eden is being a good little bunny---most of the time. In addition to her diet of alfalfa hay, veggies, and bunny food, she is quite fond of the following delicacies: Rice Krispies, popcorn, orange juice, Premium Plus crackers (salted), bananas, watermelon, and as I have recently discovered, Corn Pops. Can you tell I drop a lot of food? One night I was watching a movie, and Eden jumped into the popcorn bowl. Needless to say, she got to keep that batch. She has been out in the garden with me but so far nothing that we planted has grown out enough for me to feed it to her. When she first came to live here, I would practically have to force her to spend time with me, but now I can’t get rid of her! If I am in the bathroom, she is in the bathroom. If I am cooking, there she is, just waiting for me to drop something. I feel like I signed up to get a bunny and somehow ended up with a two pound puppy. Have I mentioned yet that she licks, too? As I write this, she is literally in my bed with me, her little pink bell jingling as she wriggles around lost under the covers. I love her.
I made a doctors appointment. Cue: deep breath. June 16th, 4:15pm. I’m ready. Of course, it will help that one of my best friends will be out visiting from Edmonton at that point, so I won’t be going alone. By the way, thanks for all the feedback, guys. Almost all of you were really supportive of my decision and I so appreciate that.
And on the topic of appointments, I also made one at the bank. I am gonna consolidate my debt. It’s not a lot, but it is enough to stress me out. Thanks to moving costs and increased rent and tuition and life, I have definitely fallen behind. But I have a plan and a strong will, so I know everything will be alright. Just one more thing to work on. Just one more thing to conquer.
And I think that about sums it up. Life is a curious thing, isn’t it?
One of my favorite books in the world is called The Little Prince (1943), by Antoine De Saint-Exupery...it soothes me. May it soothe you, too...
“As the little prince was falling asleep, I picked him up in my arms, and started walking again. I was moved. It was as if I were carrying a fragile treasure. It actually seemed to me there was nothing more fragile on Earth. By the light of the moon, I gazed at that pale forehead, those closed eyes, those locks of hair trembling in the wind, and I said to myself, What I am looking at is only a shell. What’s most important is invisible...
As his lips parted in a half smile, I said to myself again, What moves me so deeply about this sleeping little prince in his loyalty to a flower---the image of a rose shining within him like the flame within a lamp, even when he’s asleep...And I realized he was even more fragile that I had thought. Lamps must be protected. A gust of wind can blow them out...”
Nothing I say can top that, so I will bid you farewell for now, my friends. Thank you for sticking by me. Here is to the next 50 posts. : )
~C~
PS I saved the most important update for last. My eyebrow grew back. Not well, I might add. But the important thing is, it’s back!
